E's Random Thoughts

The turning point in my life was in 2009-2010.  After my husbands illness, I looked for other solutions for the meaning of life.  Baptized into Catholicism, I stopped going to church. Even though I still prayed, I was lost. New age was my new thing.  But it neither satisfied or answered the questions I was searching for.  The vague spirituality of consciousness, oneness was severely lacking.

My daughter had been inviting me to attend church with her and I finally did. And wouldnt you know it, Jesus met me there.  On Eagles Wings… my all time favorite song was what they sang.  My tears flowed freely and I knew Jesus had called me home.  There I encountered Jesus. Again. 

Ah, but what I learned!

I learned that He loves me no matter what. I learned my salvation is a gracious, undeserved gift given from God and only comes from believing in Jesus Christ. I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins and is the bridge to the Father. He rose again on the third day in fulfillment of the scriptures. He is my redeemer. This is the good news.

The separation I had felt from the Father vanished. What was lacking was my relationship with Jesus. My belief that I wasnt enough. My belief that I needed to do more.

I had learned so many things the wrong way yet its all so simple.  It starts with believing and everything else just falls into place.

Since then, I have continued learning and growing. I dont profess to have all the answers because I dont and I know I never will. What I do know is that because I have repented from my sins, and accepted Jesus Christ into my heart, I will never be separated from the love of God.  I am His confidant daughter and have eternal life with Him. 

This morning I learned of John Franklin Tabors sudden passing. I reread the email as I was in disbelief. How could that possibly be? I recently received an email he sent us, The Loudoun Photo Club, on July 20 responding to club questions.  Yet now this! He definitely left this world too, too soon on August 1st.  Wow!

For some bizarre reason this is hitting me hard even though we were not close, nor were we friends. My heart is heavy for the loss his family and friends are bearing.  Today I learned we shared a birthday which we will never celebrate together.  Today I learned we shared love of country, as we both served in the US Army.  I already knew we both loved light and photography. Today I learned of his passing.

I first met John through zoom Loudoun Photo Club meetings during the COVID 19 pandemic shutdown and then face-to-face at a LPC meeting when people started to gather and meet again. He had a keen photographic eye as well as a keen sense of humor.  His eyes twinkled like the light as he oozed love for people. His kindness and generosity of time and talent never went unnoticed.

I will miss John even though I pulled back from LPC this past year.

John was only 54 years old. Today I am strangely struck by the unfairness of his short life.  I am strangely reminded of life and time.  How much do we really have? Of course, only God knows the answer to this.  Besides, do we really want to know? I do not want to know. But I do know we, I, need to make the time left, whatever that may be, matter.

John had more he wanted to do. Of this I am sure, as he had a wife, children, and grandchildren.  I am also sure there are so many things people who were very close to him wanted to say and share just one last time. I know I do.  I would tell him I wish I had known him better. In the meantime, I can say what I want others to know now before I cant.

Cheers to John! May his legacy continue! I pray he is having the time of his life in heaven.

Highway of Life

As I was driving on route 15 south headed to the emergency room, my mind meandered along. I took more notice of the road, notice of more roadkill, notice of the line separating those driving south vs those driving north.

I observed the line separating the two lanes more closely than I planned on. The lines shifted from a single line, to a double line, to a passing line, to a no passing line. Kind of reminded me of life, you know. How its a thin line between love and hate. Did you know theres a song like that? Its a fine line between life and death. Actually, that line is probably thinner than what you and I imagine.

I thought about roads and where they take us. You can choose to go straight, or turn left, or even right. In those turns you may wonder if you turned exactly where you needed to turn. Did you go too far and miss your turn? Did you need to turn around, make a u-turn, or wander around strange streets in hopes of finding your way?

Life is kind of like that, right? I mean the roads we take, or dont take. Slow down, speed up, cruise along. Highway vs country road.

We are here today. Will we be here tomorrow? How will our lives how mattered? Will it be based on the roads weve taken? Or the roads weve purposely avoided?

And then I arrived. Here at the emergency room. Waiting for results of all kinds of tests. CT scan, blood work, chest and knee X-rays. All due to one single fall in the bathroom. It wasnt even a car wreck. A slip was all it took to get her here. In ER. Whats next? What road?

Life is fragile. So very fragile. Even the strong fall. Perhaps because of a car wreck. A slip. A fall.

You may wonder where Im going with all this, if youve bothered to read this far, cause you want to know the ending. Well, I have no idea. Im rambling as I sit in the ER waiting for results of a fall.

This particular story does not have an ending. But… For me, my story will continue long after my flesh is no more. My story will continue because my hope, my anchor, is with Jesus, and with Him there is no wrong turn. With Him there is life now. With Him, there is eternal life after death. With Him there is shalom peace.